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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23158012">Incontrollable thoughts in self controlled minds</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamconstantlyfangirling/pseuds/iamconstantlyfangirling'>iamconstantlyfangirling</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sherlock (TV), Sherlock (TV) RPF, Sherlock Holmes &amp; Related Fandoms</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Developing Relationship, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Romance, Sherlock Being Sherlock, Sherlock Holmes Has Feelings, Smut</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 01:35:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,967</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23158012</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamconstantlyfangirling/pseuds/iamconstantlyfangirling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock despises feelings and, above all, love but how will he react when he starts realizing he actually has a lot of feelings towards his friend and flatmate John Watson?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sherlock Holmes &amp; John Watson, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sherlock pulled the collar of his coat up, protecting his neck from the cold air.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Happy couples made him sick. Every time he got out of the flat he would see it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Couples holding hands, kissing, general manifestations of affection and sometimes even marriage proposals! Every single time this happened he could not help but wonder what was going on in their minds. Love was a chemical defect, it made people vulnerable, weak, it made people distracted and, worst of all, turned them into poorly functioning individuals. They would just "fell in love", he didn´t really know how, I mean he could explain all the scientific, hormonal and psychological factors behind it but the way people just let it invade their lives and turn them into day dreaming puppets with stupid grins on their faces was way pass his knowledge.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The tall man turned away and started walking in the couple´s opposite direction. He felt his coat pocket vibrate and reached for his phone. A text. Putting his phone back in the coat´s pocket he kept walking, fastening his pace.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He got to 221B Baker Street and headed to his flat winking at Mrs. Hudson on his way upstairs. He entered the flat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"John! Jooohhhnnn! "</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John appeared in front of him, still wearing his pajamas, his hair messy and his eyes sleepy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Get dressed. Lestrade texted me. We´ve got a case. "</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John rubbed his eyes, making a vexed moan and raising one finger.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Give me a minute."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His voice was still rough from sleeping. A chill went down Sherlock´s spine as John turned away to go get ready. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He loved John´s voice, he loved when John was sleepy…it made him look so vulnerable, fragile and…simply perfect. What?! No! Was that…did he just thought about John that way? No, of course not! John was his friend, his flat mate. That was it! And the chill? Well it was bloody cold outside, of course! It made perfect sense.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He tried to push his coat´s collar upper failing miserably so he just kept his hands in his coat´s pockets.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I´m ready. Let´s go. "</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John was standing awkwardly, his hair still messy but he was dressed properly, already wearing his coat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sherlock stood by the door making a signal with his hand indicating John to go first which the shorter man did, quickly followed by the consulting detective.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Outside 221B Baker Street Sherlock walked to the edge of the pavement sticking an arm out and immediately caughting the attention of a cab driver. John was, as always, impressed with the ease Sherlock could get them a cab in London. Bloody London!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They both got in the cab, thankful for the warmness inside the vehicle when compared to the cold morning breeze that was felt outside. Both men sat, taking the window seats and leaving the middle seat empty.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sherlock assumed his "thinking position" like any other day but he was disturbed. He was trying hard, too hard, to brush off the thoughts he had about John that morning. He could make a mental list of reasons, explanations and excuses that would make his thoughts sound plausible, sustained by facts and explained resorting logical reasoning but, although his speech would probably convince everyone else, there was one extremely important person it was not convincing. Himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looked at John from the corner of his eye and, even though the middle sit was separating, keeping a distance between the two men, Sherlock couldn´t help being suddenly aware of their proximity. The taller man could almost feel the heat of the other man´s body radiating through the space that tore them apart and colliding with his skin giving him chills and goosebumps.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John was looking outside trough the car window so Sherlock gave himself permission to look at the doctor sitting next to him. Did he also think about Sherlock that way sometimes? What way?! Sherlock was not thinking about John THAT way. They were friends! All the feelings he had towards John were purely platonic, it was pimply admiration and respect. Of course he admired John! They had gone through so much together. It was perfectly normal! All his excuses didn´t, once more, convinced him completely. Also…since when did he, Sherlock Holmes the famous consulting detective, had…feelings?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The cab abruptly stopped bringing Sherlock back to reality, waking him up from his trance.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The taller man breathed in deeply and assumed his usual face of a heartless and emotionless, but still highly functioning, sociopath.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Let´s go, Watson. We have a case to solve."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Both men headed to the crime scene. Sherlock´s mind was still trying to wipe away his thoughts. For the first time his mind was failing him horribly.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The two men got closer to what was, clearly, the scene of the crime. An abandoned building surrounded by police cars, caution tape and people in rubber gloves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lestrade was waiting outside the caution tape. As soon as he saw them he lifted the tape in the air signaling them to pass and following them quickly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"This one does not seem difficult. A man in his early thirties. The body was clearly dumped here but he was killed somewhere else but she left clues."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"First of all it´s clearly not that simple otherwise I would not be here or perhaps the police is just purely useless which I am inclined to believe in. Second of all: She? You are deducing it was a woman because the victim is a man, a young man and, statistically, the most probable way he was killed is by his wife or girlfriend out of jealousy which is a deduction with so many mistakes it becomes hurtful to think about. You don´t know if the victim was single or married or even if he was romantically or sexually attraction to women. This is not statistic. You work with the clues you have and then you make deductions, not the other way around."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lestrade looked astonished. John raised an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you ok, Sherlock? You are especially rude today. Ruder than usual."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It´s amazing, John, how easily the truth is confused with impoliteness."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They approached the body. John kneeled down next to the corpse.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The body has signs of severe violence applied to the head and throat along with bruises on the arms. The epidermis and nails are loosened and the skin of the hands and feet is peeling off. The cause of death was, clearly drowning and it was neither accidental nor suicidal. It was homicidal drowning. By the state of the skin I would say he is dead for two days."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock nodded and gave the body a final glance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I will go check the body with Molly. I will text you when I solve it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John and Sherlock returned to the cab.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is everything ok, Sherlock? You look weird…I mean weirder than usual and a bit too rude too, even for your standards."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I´m going to try and feel offended by that." Sherlock said as he turned his face to the window.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John exhaled slowly and Sherlock felt the warm air hit his neck. The tall man wanted to follow that warm air, he wanted to get closer to John, feel his warmness, his lips on his neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock shook his head violently. What was he thinking? This was not normal! He didn´t, he couldn´t feel that way about John. From all people…John?! Sherlock remembered how most people thought he couldn´t feel this way, or anything for that matter, some even thought he was asexual. Sherlock had felt this way before, he had liked men before. Never women. But that was a long time ago. He was a sociopath. He was not supposed to feel…anything. He didn´t feel anything…did he?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John´s voice woke him up from his thoughts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So, the case does not seem complicated…and you didn´t even looked at the body for five minutes. Is it so easy that you have already solved it? Somehow… in your mind palace or whatever you like to call it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock looked at John, his heart was pounding. Why, in the bloody hell, was his heart pounding that fast? They were just having a normal conversation!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, John, if you find it simple we can easily deduce this case is elementary. I´m going to check something but I suppose I will solve it soon."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John nodded and Sherlock went back to his thoughts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had to be honest with himself. He did feel something. He fell something for his flatmate, best friend. Straight best friend. He had to think this trough. The best and only way he could do this was thinking rationally, that would make him feel calm and secure. Logical and rational thinking was the one thing he could trust.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock looked at John one more time, his heart immediately started pounding even more. It was obvious, so obvious, clear as water. When humans are scared, nervous or next to someone they love their brains send a signal to the adrenal gland which secretes hormones such as adrenaline, epinephrine, and norepinephrine that flow through the blood and cause the heart rate to increase. Sherlock touched his wrist feeling the blood pump. His heart rate was, definitely, faster than usual. It was also, clearly, because of John. Sherlock was not scared of John; by elimination the answer became pretty obvious. Sherlock felt nervous around John… he had never felt nervous around him before. The only logical, plausible and possible explanation was…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock was shacking. I could not be truth, this could not be happening. He couldn´t admit it, not even to himself, he refused to do it. He felt weird. John was occupying is mind, worst, he was invading it, he had conquered Sherlock´s mind palace and made it entirely his own. How was Sherlock supposed to solve a case, even an obviously easy one, when all he could think about was John? The way he looked, how his voice sounded when he was tired or sleepy, the way his hair looked when he had just got up, the way he smelled, the way he looked at him and called him brilliant when everyone else called him psychopath… it was too obvious.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With resignation the taller man breathed in deeply and thought to himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I´m in love with John Watson. It´s insane, it´s a chemical defect and it is affecting my rational thinking as well as the strength of my knees but I can´t deny it anymore. I am completely and deeply in love with my flat mate, with his best friend and the man sitting next to him. John Watson.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sherlock? Sherlock!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John was calling him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We´re here. Let´s go see Molly. I bet you will solve it in less than five minutes!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In a normal day he would, literally, solve it in less than five minutes but when the only thing he had in his mind was John paying attention to a murder became a lot more difficult.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as they got in they were greeted by Molly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Good morning, Molly. Sherlock wants to check something on the body they found this morning."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The one that drowned, right?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Exactly."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Come with me. Sherlock? You seem distracted. Are you thinking about the case already? Oh, you probably already solve it, right?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock just nodded lightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Let´s see the body."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For the first time the most difficult thing to solve in his life was not a murder. He had to deal with a breathing, living person instead of a body and he had no idea what to do.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sherlock was sitting in his chair wearing his pajamas and robe. If we were being honest saying that Sherlock was sitting was a really polite way to put it, he had been sitting, yes, but that was a couple of hours ago, now he was just in a really weird position. He was half sat, half laid across the chair, legs balancing over the side, head falling back over the other side, in an odd position that made his neck muscles contract. Despite the unnatural position he still had his hands together and under his chin like he always had when he was thinking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt odd. His mind was running a million miles per hour but, at the same time, it was not moving at all; he had his mind full of thoughts but also empty, blank like it had never been before. His mind felt like a black hole sucking in everything at its passage. The consulting detective often eliminated thoughts and information that was not important in order to make room for what was, actually, relevant. His mind was a hard drive and he was not going to fill it with random knowledge and non-relevant facts. But this thoughts…this particular thought he had about John since that morning was like a virus that wiped all the important files of the hard drive, making it block and useless. These thoughts were turning into a malfunctioning being, it was turning him into everything he despised the most: Someone that let, unconsciously, a feeling take over his life, someone who actually had feelings, a daydreaming puppet with a huge grin on his face every time he thought about a certain doctor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ughhhh…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There it was. In a matter of zero point one milliseconds his mind transformed, from a black hole, to a super-fast search engine showing all the results for the "John Watson" search.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John Hamish Watson. How could one even describe John? The word "perfect" crossed Sherlock´s mind. This whole thing was getting out of hand. He couldn´t even…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sherlock."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The detective was so distracted in his, slightly under attack, mind palace he didn´t even noticed When John came in which resulted in his response being an unhuman sound while he sat straight at the speed of light.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What´s wrong, Sherlock? You have not been well. You look distracted, distant…It has been four days since we started this case and you have not solved it yet, you don´t even talk about it…you barely talk at all to be honest. The case doesn´t even seem difficult, you said so yourself."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Did the police solve it?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His voice sounded like a groan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What?!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I said: Did the police solve it?!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course not…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And they are the ones who are supposed to solve it. It´s their job."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"First of all, that doesn´t even sound like you… Second of all, they are a bit useless, like you said."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And, correct me if I´m wrong, you called me rude when I said that."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, you were a bit rude but that does not mean that what you were saying was a lie."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock limited his answer to another, slightly more human, groan while he went back to his weird position across the chair, his body a bit more twisted than before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John sighted with resignation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sherlock?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uhmm?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You know…you can tell me anyth…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John was interrupted by the sound on an opening door. Mrs. Hudson, of course.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Good morning, boys. How are you? Sherlock, you look so distant…is everything ok?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mrs. Hudson asked the question more to John than to Sherlock already knowing she wasn´t getting any answer from him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It´s useless, Mrs. Hudson. Sherlock seems to be too deep inside his mind palace to formulate a coherent sentence."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh…I see. Do you want a tea and some biscuits, boys?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, thank you. Don´t worry, Mrs. Hudson. I´m actually going out to the supermarket now."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John got up walking with Mrs. Hudson to the door, he turned around to glance at Sherlock, his weird position and his distant stare into nothing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"See you later, Sherlock."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock didn´t even move nor did he say anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mind continued racing nonstop, jumping from John to the case he couldn´t solve because of the said doctor. What was happening between him and John? Nothing, though he wished something was really going on. Did he? What did he felt exactly? Couldn´t it be just platonic? No, definitely not. He had gone through this before. He was in love with John. That was it. The murder seemed easy. Drowning, homicidal drowning. No wife, no girlfriend. Family, friends? Premeditated? Definitely. Pool, bath tub, sink? By the water found in the lungs: Pool. It was a lot of water and it contained chlorine in quantities often found in pool water. Motive? Not sure. John? John? What?! John?! Wasn´t he thinking about the case, a murder, a minute ago?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock could not think straight, his thoughts were overwhelming him. His head felt like it was going to burst, his brain making pressure on his skull. He could not focus in anything, it was impossible; his thoughts were all mixed up. He felt sick, his stomach was turning. He felt like a rabbit that was in the middle of a road and that had just realized that the lights in front of him, pointing at him, blinding him belonged to a huge lorry that was about to hit him, froze in shock. The detective was afraid, afraid of his own (not wanted) feelings.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If he kept feeling like this getting to a conclusion and solving the case would be really difficult, if not impossible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the middle of the spiral of mixed thoughts that was going on in his head, making everything confused and blurry there was only one conclusion he could get to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had to tell John.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>In the exact moment the thought crossed Sherlock mind he started panicking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>How could he tell John? The first time he thought about telling him it made sense, he couldn´t take John out of his mind so if he just told him and got it all out he could get on with his life. That was what he thought at the time but now…it was too real.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why would he tell him? How? What would be John´s reaction? What if he felt the same? Oh, as if. Of course he didn´t! Telling John would just ruin everything, telling John meant losing him. If he told him nothing would be the same again, things would become awkward between them and John would just end up moving out, he would lose him. He could not live without John. He wouldn´t bare it. Being alone, again? He couldn´t even think about it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock heard the door crack. He sat up straight on his chair, feet on top of it, legs folded underneath him, his hands under his chin. Was John back already? He had left ten minutes ago! It couldn´t be him. So… Mrs. Hudson.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mrs. Hudson walked in with a face that showed concern. She sat down in John´s chair facing the detective.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sherlock, dear, I know you are not good. I can see it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock kept his hands under his chin, his eyes closed. He was trying not to cry. Him, a feeling less sociopath, was at the edge of tears by the simple fear of losing someone he loved. The only person he truly loved, really. He was not going to cry, especially not in front of Mrs. Hudson or anyone for that matter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You can pretend you don´t feel anything, Sherlock but you do not fool me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He kept still. He was not going to show any emotions. He cleared his throat and hoped his voice wouldn´t sound affected by the tears he was fighting not to let out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don´t you have to go buy biscuits or something, Mrs. Hudson?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mrs. Hudson didn´t look offended. She looked at Sherlock with pity.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sherlock, stop pretending. You do not need to do that with me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock sighted trying to look bored.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don´t know what you are talking about, Mrs. Hudson. Clearly you didn´t took your pills this morning because everything you´re saying is nonsense."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, Sherlock. Stop acting. You should tell him you know…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock opened his eyes and had to mentally scream with himself not to react violently to Mrs. Hudson´s advice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Who?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"John, of course."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Tell John what, exactly?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sherlock Holmes, you know exactly what you should and need, in my not so humble opinion, to tell John."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pretending he didn´t know what Mrs. Hudson was talking about was becoming really difficult. Sherlock changed his position again sitting on the chair normally, feet on the floor, hands on his lap, his harm´s muscles tense. He breathed in and out deeply and slowly trying to gain courage to respond. He passed his hand through his dark curls, sighted and finally was able to speak.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don´t want to lose him, Mrs. Hudson."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His voice was a whisper, barely audible but Mrs. Hudson understood it completely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Who said you are going to lose him, Sherlock?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock took his hand to his face wiping a tear that had escaped from his eye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"If I tell him I am risking losing him."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mrs. Hudson placed a hand on his knee and looked him in the eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh Sherlock. Since when don´t you like a bit of risk in your life?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock smiled weakly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That´s better isn´t it? Now I´m going to make you some tea and bring you some of those biscuits you seem to love telling me to go buy."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mrs. Hudson got up and started to walk to the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you, Mrs. Hudson. What would we all do without you?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mrs. Hudson glanced back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"England would fall."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mrs. Hudson got out leaving Sherlock with his thoughts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had to tell John, Mrs. Hudson was right about that. He risked losing him but living with him and keeping this secret, living under the same roof with the man he loved and not being able to have him would drive him insane. He was already feeling insane! He had to tell him as soon as possible. He started panicking again. He couldn´t! How could he tell him? John would be disgusted. He would think Sherlock was crazy. John was not gay; he literally screamed that to everyone who was there to hear, he had made himself pretty clear. He would just take his things and move out in no time. On the other hand, Sherlock could not keep this to himself. It was making him go insane, he couldn´t think about anything else, he couldn´t think about the case, he couldn´t solve it, it was ruining his life. The effects were worse than when he had to listen to Anderson speaking! He was telling John. That was it. End of discussion. And…What if John felt the same way about him? What if John loved him as much as Sherlock loved him? Sherlock shook his head. He had too high expectations. But, really…What if?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mrs. Hudson came back with the tea and biscuits. She placed the tray in the table next to Sherlock and poured the tea and milk into the cup. She handed the cup to Sherlock and gave him a little smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Drink it, you will feel better. I don´t like to see you sad, Sherlock. Neither you nor John. And…I really think you two can be happy together."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock wished she was right.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mrs. Hudson started to walk away again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I will leave you with your thoughts. Tell John, Sherlock…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mrs. Hudson turned away and almost hit John who was standing at the door with a plastic bag in his hand.</span>
</p><p>"Tell me what?!"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sherlock froze. His heart stopped. Well, his heart did not, actually stopped. If his heart had, in fact, stopped the blood in his body would stop being pumped, oxygen would stop being carried to the cells, his brain would stop responding due to oxygen default, his organs would fail and he would be dead in seconds. Cardiorespiratory arrest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nothing of this crossed Sherlock´s mind, though. John was there and…Well, John´s presence left Sherlock as rational as a little golden fish.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mrs. Hudson was still looking at John, petrified. She stopped staring at John and glanced at Sherlock with a worried look on her face, look which she quickly changed to a positive and encouraging expression. She faced John and smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I better get going…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She gave Sherlock a small glance and a smile while leaving the flat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John was still standing by the door, his fingers were white due to the weight of the shop bags he was holding for some time, he was tense, the muscles of his shoulders contracted and his face had a confused expression.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock was starting to panic. What was he going to tell John?! What could he possibly say that would sound plausible and be a sufficiently important issue for him to discuss it with Mrs. Hudson but not important enough not to had tell it to John right away or to make him freak out?! Truth was…he was freaking out. He needed to think about what to say and he needed to do it fast! His mind was failing him. Since when did his mind fail him? Most importantly, when did his mind fail to come up with such a simple excuse? He knew the answer… Since, John… Why was he thinking about making up excuses, though? Hasn't he decided to tell John? Wasn´t he going to do it? Didn´t he want to do it as fast as possible? YES! He was just going to go for it! He was going to let it all out! He was going to…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John dropped the bags on the floor and walked to Sherlock with a mixture of concern, fear and lack of confidence showing in his facial expression. He sat in his chair right in front of Sherlock.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What happened? What´s going on?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock took a deep breath. This was it. All he had to do was saying it out loud.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"John…. I…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John looked even more worried now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>" Sherlock, what happened? Did you use drugs again?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock was paralyzed. Did love counted as a drug? Because it was affecting more than any other drug…it was addictive. He didn´t even answered John´s concerned question.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Did you, Sherlock? Are you listening to me? Did you use drugs again?! Because if you did, Sherlock Holmes, I swear I am going to turn this flat upside down and if I find something… I am going to call your brother, right now! You are going to get tested! I swear, Sherlock…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock started laughing uncontrollably. This whole situation made him lose control over his emotions… and mental sanity. John thought he was using drugs?! He could not stop laughing. His belly hurt and he was tossing in his chair, hands on his abdomen, tears rolling down his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What are you laughing at? Sherlock…you don´t seem to be normal…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He kept laughing. It was a way of calming his nerves. All the stress and fear he was felling was being released in the form of laughter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I…didn´t…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>More laughing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You didn´t, what?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I did not use or am currently using drugs, John. I swear!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock kept laughing trying to calm himself down. John joined in laughing lightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank God! Bloody hell, I was about to attempt to kill you right here! And then what? Who would solve the terrifically complicated cases? "</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock finally was able to stop laughing, wiping tears that had rolled down his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>" I am not doing a good job with the current murder…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John sighted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is that what this is about?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes…and no. No. It´s not, actually… if I am being totally honest."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What is it about then? Did something happen to Mrs. Hudson? Is that why she leaved so fast? Is she ok? Or is it your brother? What did he said this time? Is it me? Did I do something? What´s wrong, Sherlock? Please, you know you can tell me anything. You are my best friend."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A sparkle appeared in Sherlock´s eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Am I?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course you are! You arrogant git…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock couldn´t help but smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You are mine too…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He whispered it so John did not understand it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock cleared his throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You are my best friend too. Only friend, to be honest. You know that…What´s happening is…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The consulting detective was shacking. How was he going to explain this?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John leaned over and placed a hand on Sherlock´s knee while giving him a reassuring smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Go on."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"A few days ago I was… myself. I mean I was the arrogant arsehole I am used to be. The feeling less sociopath that does not understand love as people put it and only understands the chemistry behind it. The chemical defect that changes people´s lives… I did not get it, John. I found it ridiculous and unnecessary because I did not understand it, because I had never experienced it. I did not understand what it was to have someone constantly on your mind, to not be able to think about anything else, to love someone and want that person´s happiness more than your own and above all. But I do understand it now… I understand it because I am in love… and… I am in love with…with you, John Watson. I am in love with you. It has always been you…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John was paralyzed, a shocked expression on his face. He was sweating, tears rolling down his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock continued.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I was afraid to tell you, John. Because… I don´t want to lose you…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock looked up at John.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I understand if you don´t feel the same and…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John didn´t know what to say, he was speechless so he just followed his instincts and did what they told them to do and what he actually wanted to do for a long time. He leaned in and placed his lips on top of Sherlock´s. He silently whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shut up, Sherlock Holmes."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He brushed his lips on the detective´s lightly and kissed him softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock did not move for a bit but when John leaned further putting his harms around the consulting detective´s neck he responded eagerly, kissing the doctor back with passion and pulling him closer and into his lap, his harms around John´s waist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John slowly pulled slightly away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you too, Sherlock."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock had the biggest grin on his face. He suddenly made an surprised expression.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I think I solved it!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Solved what?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The case!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John giggled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, thank God! I was starting to think all your geniality was gone."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Never!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock got pushing John up with him and starting to walk away in the door´s direction only to be stopped by John who hugged him from behind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do we have to go right now?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock turned around to face John and gave him a small peck on the lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Murder can wait."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Good."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock smiled and hugged John tightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anything could wait except for this</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>John raised his harms locking one around Sherlock´s neck while taking the other and cuping the detective´s cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock´s long and elegant arms surrounded John´s waist pulling him closer as the doctor got on his tiptoes and whispered on Sherlock´s ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You have no idea how many times I have daydreamed about this…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John´s breathe made Sherlock´s ear tingle and sent shivers down the consulting detective´s neck and spine. John bit Sherlock´s earlobe lightly making his breath louder and irregular.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John kissed Sherlock´s neck slowly, then his cheek and finally got to his lips, brushing his own lips against the detective´s the two men kissed slowly but passionately. They had been waiting for this moment for too long and now that they were experiencing it neither of them wanted to let go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock slowly begun to walk towards the sofa never letting John go. He pushed John with him never taking his lips out of the doctor´s. He laid on the sofa pushing John to rest on top of him, their bodies intertwined joined in every inch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock was not the only one breathless anymore. They both felt breathless and weightless, the only thing keeping them close to earth was the weight of what they felt each other, something deep, strong, majestic but completely and totally indescribable, unexplainable with a pinch of madness. But isn´t that what love feels like?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John buried his hand in the incredibly soft dark curls of Sherlock´s hair, while he sucked lightly on the detective´s bottom lip and bit it lightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock felt so good, his lips were so soft as well as his skin, he tasted so good, the presence of his body underneath John´s was the closest description to heaven John could think of. John had admired this man for so long, he found him brilliant, a genius when most people found him a cold psychopath. "High functioning sociopath" was the common response Sherlock gave people who told him that but John knew he wasn´t a psychopath nor a sociopath. Sherlock had feelings and it was always John who brought them to the surface.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John always screamed to people how straight he was and how him and Sherlock were NOT a couple, this behavior increased when the doctor started to notice that his admiration for Sherlock was, most of the times, too strong to be consider platonic. The doctor tried to ignore it, repress it but the feeling kept there, in the bottom of his heart, repressed but undeniably there and John stopped denying it to himself and allowed his mind to fantasize about how it would be if he could ignore his pride and ego and admit his love for his flatmate, how it would be to have the man of his dream´s in his harms. That´s what he wanted, right? It did not matter that he had always dated women, did it? He knew that what he felt for Sherlock was not simply admiration and it was definitely not just platonic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock had always loved John. Since the day he met him he couldn´t take his eyes out of the army doctor that was now his flatmate. The way John kept getting amazed by his work, by his rational thinking, by what he was truly left Sherlock speechless. After years of being called a freak, crazy, cold, empty, aberration and sociopath because of his way of thinking and personality there it was, someone who found him brilliant for the exact same reasons. The consulting detective never thought he would ever love someone after the few people that he had loved and that were a complete disappointment but loving John Watson was so easy… What did the doctor have to make him unlovable? To Sherlock, absolutely nothing. The detective did not have high expectations for being reciprocated. John loved to tell people that he TOTALLY straight and because of that Sherlock never allowed himself to think about what if´s.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John was kissing him right now wasn´t he? He would not do it for any reason. He was not doing it because he pitied Sherlock, was he? Sherlock was pretending he liked John, was he? Was this a joke? Did John just felt a bit desperate? Both men started to feel uncertain. Their kisses were getting slower, filed with doubt. They pulled apart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"John…Maybe we should talk a bit more about this…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock´s voice was low he still felt dizzy like he had just travelled from another dimension for which the edge was John´s lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John nodded. He felt dizzy as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes… Maybe we should clarify some things…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sat on the sofa, next to each other, both felling empty as soon as the contact between their bodies was broke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Look, John I don´t want you to do this just because you pity me… I…I know you have always dated women so… I know you always said you were straight and…I…I just…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock was mumbling, John had never seen him like this but he found it kind of cute. He took Sherlock´s cheek in his hand making the detective raise his head and look at him right in the eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sherlock stop…. Yes I have always dated women but…what about it? I always said I was straight because I had never felt otherwise and when I started having feelings for you I was trying to deny them because….I had never thought about a man that way but who cares? I never felt anything this strong for anyone. I love you so much, Sherlock. I know you, I know you deserve someone who loves you not someone who pities you…I would never do that to you… I am madly and deeply in love with you and I am not letting a label as insignificant as "straight" stop me from being happy with the person I love… I don´t need to label myself to feel secure anymore, Sherlock. I love you and having you, having the honor of calling you my boyfriend is all I need."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John had tears in his eyes but his voice didn´t shake for even a second. He meant it, with all his heart. Sherlock had tears rolling down his face. The detective reached for John hugging him tightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you so much, John. I never thought I could ever have you in my harms… I…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know, Sherlock… I know. I love you too, so much."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John laid on the sofa pushing Sherlock who rested his head on John´s chest. The doctor wiped the tears rolling down the detective´s eyes and kissed him in the forehead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two men lost track of time enjoying each other´s presence. Bodies intertwined and minds full of memories about each other. They spent hours in that sofa, cuddling, kissing and snuggling like their life´s depended on it. They couldn´t simply let go so they kept enjoying the time they had together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John found himself lost in Sherlock´s lips again, he didn´t needed to pretend anymore nor did Sherlock so they just let it all out which resulted in an extreme difficulty in keeping their hand to themselves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John pulled away slowly, sucking on Sherlock´s lip as he backed away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So… how did you solve it?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Solved what?!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The case, Sherlock."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John smirked and Sherlock let out a little giggle. The consulting detective was thinking about everything except for that bloody case.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You will see…we probably should go talk to Lestrade tomorrow but for now….I was enjoying being quite with you very much."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock smirked and leaned in kissing away the grin that John could not hide.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The case didn´t crossed their minds anymore that afternoon. They were exactly where they wanted to be. In each other´s arms, this vanished everything else leaving only them, together. Their bodies, their minds and their feelings synchronized and that was more than enough. It was perfect.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>John looked out of the cab´s window. London looked so pretty, gloomy…or maybe he was just in a good mood. He was definitely in a good mood. John reached with his hand to grab Sherlock´s as he turned to face the detective. Both man had huge grins on their faces, they couldn´t stop looking at each other with stupid yet amazing grins on their faces. John grabbed Sherlock´s hand gently stroking it lightly, his thumb caressing the detective´s knuckles and elegant fingers. Sherlock had such beautiful hands.</p><p>Sherlock started to lean in, getting closer to John. The detective´s eyes fixed on John lips.</p><p>The cab abruptly stopped.</p><p>Sherlock opened his eyes and saw John millimeters away from him, his eyes still closed. John sighted and released a giggle. A shook, soft sound that Sherlock could never imagine coming out of John´s parted lips.</p><p>Sherlock smirked.</p><p>"We should go…"</p><p>"Yeah... we better get going."</p><p>Neither of them was letting go of the other´s hand though.</p><p>Sherlock took John´s hand and kissed his knuckles then he released John´s hand as both of them got out of the cab.</p><p>They walked the short distance to the New Scotland Yard.</p><p>John grabbed the door handle pushing it opened and signaling Sherlock to get in. Sherlock giggled and walked pass John sending him an intense glance.</p><p>Not long after they got in they saw Molly who gasped as soon as she saw them and released a noise that sounded like it could´ve been made by a cat.</p><p>"Sherlock!"</p><p>John gave her a little smile.</p><p>"Hi, Molly."</p><p>Sherlock passed by showing her a huge, true grin that left her astonished.</p><p>"Good morning, Molly!"</p><p>He passed by as he heard the sound of the notebooks Molly had in her harms fall in the ground.</p><p>"Sherlock?!"</p><p>It was Lestrade who also looked as astonished as Molly had looked, the interrogation was present in his voice.</p><p>"Oh, good morning Lestrade!"</p><p>Lestrade´s mouth dropped (even more if that was humanely possible).</p><p>"You don´t text me or come here in two days, you haven´t solved a case that everyone thinks is fairly easy and now you come here and say good morning with such a satisfied look?! What´s wrong with you?!"</p><p>Molly had come along and was now looking at the two men with the same curious look on her face.</p><p>"Did you solve it then?"</p><p>Lestrade faced John to see him looking at him with an eyebrow raised and a defiant look on his face.</p><p>Lestrade did not give John an answer but his silence spoke very clearly.</p><p>"That´s what I though….And that his your job not Sherlock´s."</p><p>Lestrade looked down clearly embarrassed.</p><p>"You should check your emails more often."</p><p>Lestrade looked up at Sherlock who was smiling which was not very normal.</p><p>"If you did check your emails often you would have noticed that I actually sent you one last night with the case solved and all the details very well explained."</p><p>Lestrade reached for his pocket taking his phone out.</p><p>"You emailed me at three in the morning!"</p><p>"If you were that concerned about the case you would constantly check your emails."</p><p>Lestrade was about to object saying that even he could realize that what Sherlock´s just said was a fallacy but John cut him out.</p><p>"I didn´t notice you getting up at three in the morning…"</p><p>The two men were looking at each other intensely but Molly´s voice woke them up.</p><p>"Well…your rooms are quite far away….right?"</p><p>Sherlock and John looked at each other, John ad a smirk on his face but Sherlock looked away fast.</p><p>John didn´t want them to be public that fast, did he?</p><p>Lestrade cleared his throat.</p><p>"Well, that´s off point. So who killed him?"</p><p>Sherlock looked at him like he didn´t know what he was talking about but he recollected himself in a fraction of second.</p><p>"Richard. They worked in the same company. The victim got promoted constantly, got raises in his salary and was their boss´s favourite. Richard was jealous, he was always in second place as long has the victim was around. He invited him to his house for dinner and drowned him in the pool. He was inexperienced that´s way he dumped the body the way he did."</p><p>Lestrade raised an eyebrow.</p><p>"How do you…."</p><p>Sherlock sighted.</p><p>"Read the email it´s all there. I think it´s extremely explicit."</p><p>Sherlock looked at John who seemed to be lost in his own thoughts.</p><p>"That´s why the computer was next to the bed when I woke up… Am I right, Sherlock?"</p><p>Sherlock smirked.</p><p>"That took you a great deal of thought didn´t it?"</p><p>John giggled.</p><p>Molly was petrified. Lestrade was speechless. Was Sherlock Holmes smiling?! I mean, truly smiling? And did John just giggle?!</p><p>Lestrade was surprised. What was going on with those two?!</p><p>"Well, we are heading home, right John?"</p><p>John smiled at Sherlock like if there was a secret only both of them knew.</p><p>Lestrade was still thinking. There was probably really a secret only both of them knew. Wait a minute…. Sherlock had emailed him at three in the morning so from his bed right? So why did John saw the computer next to the bed when he woke up?! There was only one explanation he could think of…They had slept in the same bed! No…..That could not be true. John was straight…wasn´t him? And Sherlock….since when did he liked someone? I mean there was always a certain tension between the two of them but….Noooo….certainly not.</p><p>Lestrade kept thinking about alternatives, another plausible explanation….The only thing he could think of was that they had slept together…</p><p>"Whenever you eliminate the impossible whatever remains, although improbable, must be the truth."</p><p>Lestrade was speechless. He cleared his throat and tried to make himself speak clearly.</p><p>"Don´t you two have something to tell us?!"</p><p>As Lestrade raised his head he only saw Molly still standing in shock with her notebooks against her chest like if they were life savers.</p><p>He looked to the door and so a glimpse of Sherlock and John as they walked way. He could be wrong but he could swear over his health that as the two men walked out John was reaching for Sherlock´s hand.</p><p>Oh… Something was definitely going on with those two that they didn´t want them to find out. But he was tired of seeing the tension between them; he could now see it clearly. Everyone always thought there was something between them now Lestrade saw it too. He was going to find out if he was right…and he was making them speak.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>John woke up breathing in deeply. He kept his eyes closed and felt a warm and tingling sensation installing in his chest. He could smell mint and there was a comforting weight in his arms. John slowly opened his eyelids fighting against the sleepy feeling that was trying to take over him and close his eyes. As he opened his eyes he started seeing the soft, dark curls of a certain consulting detective. John brushed his nose against Sherlock´s hair smelling his mint shampoo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock was lying on his side; his face was buried in John´s chest. The detective was tightly secured in John´s harms and could feel the doctor´s feet tangled in his long legs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John smiled to himself and moved his harms slightly pushing Sherlock closer. He felt the detective shaking lightly and heard his breathing changing. Suddenly Sherlock´s harms were around his neck pushing the doctor even closer and snuggling him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John giggled lightly moving his arms down, locking them around Sherlock´s waist and pushing him up so that they were face to face, their foreheads touching.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Good morning, sunshine."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock blushed, blood running to his cheeks and staining them with a light red tone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I didn´t know you called those types of things…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John let out a little laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don´t. I was joking!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock leaned in in, still blushing, and kissed John´s cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Good morning, John."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John leaned in brushing their noses together and whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Now can you give me a proper kiss?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock giggled and buried his face in John´s shoulder like a teenager.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John already had a huge grin on his face, he leaned forward kissing the top of Sherlock´s head smelling the detective´s mint shampoo, the smell invading his nose and making him feel home, the doctor bit Sherlock´s earlobe lightly and whispered sending shivers down the detective´s spine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You are so cute when you´re embarrassed."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock lifted his head to look at John straight in the eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I am not embarrassed! I´m never embarrassed when I am with you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John couldn´t help to let out a small giggle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I didn´t mean it like that…."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Maybe you should be a little bit more specific."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The tone in Sherlock´s voice was light. He was just teasing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John smiled a wide, honest smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You´re also really cute when you are being a smart arse… Go on then… You´re not embarrassed but you are giggling and blushing like a teenager and myself…What do you feel?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock sighted. He was not used to be open about his feelings but he knew that was important to John and he wanted the doctor to know just how much he loved and trusted him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Overwhelmed…. I feel overwhelmed with all of this. With me, with us. With you being here."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He touched John chest lightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It feels like a dream, John… A really good one. One that I never want to wake up from."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His voice was a whisper by that point, barely audible but John understood him as clear as if he was screaming.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock was looking down in the general direction of John´s T-shirt covered chest, his cheeks flushed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John grabbed his chin gently and made him look at his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"If it was a dream and you woke up I would still be here."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John brushed his lips on Sherlock´s.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you, Sherlock."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock had his eyes closed; he moved his arms from against John´s chest to around his neck pulling him closer as he whispered against the doctor´s lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you too."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John tightened his grip around Sherlock´s waist as he deepened the kiss. Their kisses were slow, sloppy and sleepy but were still full of passion and meaning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock parted his lips allowing John´s tongue to run across his bottom lip and met his own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John moved slowly turning Sherlock´s back against the bed and climbing on top of him, between Sherlock´s legs and with his hands on the side of the detective´s head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock kept his arms locked around John´s neck pulling him closer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soon enough both men were breathless, pushing each other as close as humanely possible, not wanting to let go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sherlock…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John´s voice was a breathless, quick whisper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock whimpered against John´s lips sounding vaguely like an interrogation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uhmmm?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John pulled back slightly feeling his lips tingling at the lost contact.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We are….Uhm…Have you ever…?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John was looking down at Sherlock, an eyebrow raised and a mixture of interrogation and concern in his face. He didn´t even had to verbalize his thoughts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock pulled his closer again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I am one hundred percent sure."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His voice was calm and steady. He was being honest. John smiled fondly and started kissing him gently again.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Toc. Toc.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Was that a knock on the door?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John pulled back reluctantly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They heard the noise again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"There is someone at the door, John."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know, I heard it….Blimey!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John rolled over and got up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It´s probably nothing important. Stay here. I´ll be back."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John left throwing a flirting smile to Sherlock who kept still trying to hear who was down there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John breathed in deeply trying not to look as "happy" as he was when he opened the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Good morning, John!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was Lestrade.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Greg! Good morning! Uhmm… Come in. "</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lestrade walked past John entering the flat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So… What brings you here?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I need to talk to Sherlock about the case."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock was still in bed. He heard muffled noises but he couldn´t understand who was there and what he or she was saying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John cocked and eyebrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But he solved it didn´t he? Was he wrong?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, no! I know he has been looking quite distracted lately I´m not sure why but he was right. It´s just a little detail I am not quite understanding nothing too important."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was a big, dirty lie but Lestrade didn´t even flinched. He was prepared. He knew something was happening between those two and he was going to prove his theory.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Can I go call him then?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John moved fast covering the way to Sherlock´s room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uhm..No! I mean he was getting ready he is not properly dressed yet."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh I see… I thought he slept with a suit on. Isn´t that how he works? Suits around the house and bed sheets in Buckingham Palace?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John couldn´t help but smile at that. Sherlock was indeed unique…and mysterious…and handsome…Bloody hell! John could feel the burning gaze of Lestrade.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, yes…Sherlock is….well, Sherlock"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He forced a laugh out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you want some coffee? Tea?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"A coffee would be great, thank you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John nodded and headed to the kitchen followed by Lestrade.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He started to make the coffee trying to think in a way to make Sherlock getting out of his room seem normal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lestrade reached for his pocket and made an angry noise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I forgot my phone in the car! I´ll just go get it. Two minutes."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John nodded fiercely. He could just go call Sherlock and Lestrade would not see him getting out of John´s room! There was hope!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lestrade headed for the door and John kept still in the kitchen waiting for him to get out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lestrade opened the door and then closed it violently but kept still in the flat, by the door trying not to make any noise. He had planned this carefully. Sherlock loved to point out how dumb Lestrade was but the New Scotland Yard´s detective could be really smart when he wanted to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as the door closed John screamed,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sherlock! Sherlockk!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock heard the scream and got up quickly. He started to walk rubbing his eyes still feeling sleepy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It was Lestrade! He is coming back in a minute! Go to your room and…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John entered the living room and saw Sherlock standing in the middle of the compartment looking at the door with a shocked expression. John followed Sherlock´s glare and saw Lestrade standing by the door, arms crossed over his chest and an amused smile on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't you two have something to tell me?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John glanced at Sherlock. Should they tell Lestrade? Or should they simply lie?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock nodded lightly and John understood. There was no way Lestrade was going to fall for a lie at this point.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John sighted, got closer to Sherlock and took his hand on his giving him a determined look. He looked at Lestrade almost with a funny expression on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay… Sit down."</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Inspector Lestrade left John and Sherlock´s flat with a huge smile in his face. He felt accomplished, radiant even. He knew there was something going one with those two and he was right! He was so happy for them. He thought about all of the constructed coldness Sherlock showed to everyone except for John and the way John couldn´t restrain himself from telling Sherlock how brilliant he was… They deserved to be happy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sherlock?..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock was rolled up in a corner of the sofa, his arms hugging his long legs. Barefoot and bare chested, wearing a simple pair of pajama bottoms. His hands were so cold, he felt his skin bumping due to the cold air, his lips were chapped, his whole body felt asleep but inside his chest there was heat. A heat he couldn´t explain and that was filling up his whole body making him forget about the cold.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John got up from the sofa grabbing a blanket that fell, forgotten, on the end of the sofa, and placed it, gently, around Sherlock´s shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sherlock, are you ok?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The detective raised his eyes to look at John.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I´m fine…I´m just… I don´t know. I was not sure whether you wanted to tell or not….if you wanted everyone to know already or…."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John ran his thumb over Sherlock´s lips silencing him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sherlock, I love you and I´m not going to pretend I don´t anymore… I don´t care if Lestrade, everyone that works in Scotland Yard, the Queen or the whole world knows! In fact I want to scream for everyone who wants to listen how much I love you…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock smiled lightly as John giggled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So…please, Sherlock stop being a Drama Queen."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock smirked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Bloody hell, John. I know you were romantic but that was a lot…even for you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John laughed as he hugged Sherlock pushing him closer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Jesus, you are freezing."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know… I think my body is trying to compensate the lack of coldness and indifference in my behavior by freezing me to death. Another type of cold, you know?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John pulled back from their embrace to look at Sherlock´s face with a surprised look.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Who would say that Sherlock Holmes has a not so disturbing sense of humor!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Consider yourself guilty. I feel like a different men… I mean I´m still me, I have the same thoughts, opinions and intelligence of course it´s just…I don´t have to repress anything anymore. It feels like I was holding a rope that had something that weighted a million pounds on the other side and I had to push it and try to stop it from falling down a precipice, I had to hold it for a long time and my hands were hurt and bleeding and the rope was trying to slip between my fingers but I kept holding on to it even if I thought I couldn´t do it anymore until you came and told me I didn´t have to do that, you showed me it was unnecessary and I just let go…and letting go was the best feeling in the universe. You made me a better person, a happier one and I thank you for that."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John was astonished.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sherlock…that was beautiful…and deep. I am speechless."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock grinned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You weren´t expecting that were you? You didn´t thought I had the capacity of saying something of this sort, did you? Neither did I. But I think it was pretty nice if I may say so myself."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John had a huge smile on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You are right. I was not expecting that at all but, you know…feel free to say those sorts of things whenever you want!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock pulled John a bit closer, resting their foreheads together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you too."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock hugged John closer burying his face on the crook of the army doctor´s neck breathing in his smell.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John ran his hand through Sherlock´s unbelievably smooth, dark curls caressing them so gently and lovingly as if they were a treasure (which for him they were. Them and the man who they belonged to).</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Sherlock?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hum?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You know Lestrade is going to tell literally everyone, right?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, not to LITERALLY everyone but a lot of people, yes. The whole Scotland Yard, definitely."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John smiled. There was Sherlock correcting him. And the worst of all was that he actually pretty much liked to have Sherlock correcting him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you know who is going to have a heart attack when she finds out?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock giggled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you referring to Molly? Yes, I think she will be shocked to say the least."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John laughed along with Sherlock.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you think he will tell your brother?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John pulled back but kept holding Sherlock´s hand as he waited for the answer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Probably. Lestrade can´t keep his mouth closed and he won´t rest until he tells it to everyone he knows and that he consider relevant. Or even if he doesn´t consider them that relevant… Actually I wouldn´t be that surprised if he told a stranger or two…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John suppressed a laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How do you think your brother will react?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock sighted and smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Honestly? I think Mycroft will find it disturbing yet oddly charming."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Also there is someone who is probably even happier than we are."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mrs. Hudson"- they said at the same time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was the sound of a door opening and there she was. Mrs. Hudson. A delighted expression on her face and a tray containing tea and biscuits in her hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh boys, I am so happy for you two!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John and Sherlock looked at each other and started laughing uncontrollably.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What´s so funny?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"John?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock was poking John gently on the arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John opened his sleepy eyes as Sherlock pecked his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Wake up. Lestrade texted me. I think there is a body he wants us to take a look at."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John groaned rubbing his eyes. The doctor placed his arms around Sherlock´s waist pulling him onto the bed and hugging him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Just five more minutes, ok?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock giggled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ok…Just five minutes"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two men walked into the New Scotland Yard just as the multiple times they had done it. Except this time they were walking a bit closer to each other and holding hand and had stupid grins on their faces as well as flushed cheeks. They looked like a couple of in love teenagers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone congratulate them even Molly after she squeaked for a bit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everything was perfect.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And the best of all? They didn´t need to pretend anymore.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sherlock entered his room and stopped by his closet. His hair was dripping through his neck and into his bare chest, a blue towel wrapped around his waist. He sighted as a huge grin appeared in his face. This week had been crazy…. He still could not believe that he had told John how he felt about him and that his feelings were reciprocated…it sounded unreal to say that John was his boyfriend. Boyfriend? Companion? It did not matter what they called it, John was his and he could not believe it, he was constantly afraid that all of this would end up being just a really good dream and that he could wake up at any time. Sherlock knew it was not a dream, it was real it just felt…amazing! And, if Sherlock was being honest, all the physical contact he had had with John, even if it wasn´t nothing special yet, made it very clear that Sherlock was not dreaming. John´s body against his… He had to stop thinking about it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock opened his closet, took out a pair of boxers and some loose pajama pants and dressed them dropping the wet towel on the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock smirked looking to nowhere in particular, thinking about John like he was in trance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John passed by Sherlock´s room distracted thinking about Sherlock. The effect that man had on him was inexplicable. John couldn´t resist him, that dark soft curls, those cheekbones, that pale and strong chest….</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John stopped abruptly in the middle of the corridor. Through the slightly opened door of Sherlock´s room John saw him. Sherlock Holmes, the man of his fantasies and now his boyfriend, standing in the middle of his room, back turned to the door, shirtless….</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John smiled to himself. Sherlock was so beautiful it was impossible to resist him. The doctor opened the door a bit wider and started walking in the direction of the half-naked detective trying not to make noise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock heard footsteps approaching as he smiled to himself. It was definitely John, of course it was John! Sherlock couldn´t barely hide his excitement. He kept still, waiting, trying to look distracted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John got to Sherlock and hugged him from behind, his arms around the detective´s waist pulling him closer. Sherlock smirked. He knew it. He grabbed John´s wrists and tried to release himself from John´s embrace but John was holding him strong. Sherlock attempts only made John loose his grip slightly, his arms getting back to the initial position, holding Sherlock firmly, as soon as the detective stopped trying to get away. Sherlock looked to John over his shoulder and saw a huge smile on the doctor´s face just as the one on his own face. John leaned further and placed his slightly parted lips on Sherlock´s neck kissing him softly then he looked up again and placed a quick kiss on Sherlock´s lips moving to the detective´s neck once more. He kissed Sherlock´s neck with passion, licking it lightly and sucking it gently leaving small bruises all over it. Sherlock was in ecstasy, air leaving his lungs in brief and quick exhalations through his parted lips, the detective was backing up his head against John´s shoulder trying really hard to not let any sound escape his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John removed his lips from Sherlock´s neck and bit the detective´s ear lightly while moving his hands down the detective´s waist. Sherlock felt John´s hands moving down like they were made of fire, burning through his pajama pants and against his skin. Sherlock inhaled sharply, if John´s hands moved a bit down…. Sherlock released the air he did not even realized he was holding in his lungs as John´s hands stopped in his hipbones pulling him closer. Sherlock could feel John´s excitement against his back and he couldn´t lie…he felt the same way, there was no way of hiding it, the evidence was right there making his boxers feel tighter than usual.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock opened his eyes and started to, slowly, turn around to face John. The detective raised his long arms and placed them around John´s neck as the two men kissed passionately. With every second passing it became harder for them to control themselves; they were hungry for each other and they weren´t hiding it anymore. Without even realizing Sherlock had moved his harms from around John´s neck to the doctor´s back, his hands pushing John´s crotch against his own. John´s hands also moved down from Sherlock´s waist to his arse squeezing it gently and creating friction between their body´s.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John slowly started walking towards the bed pulling Sherlock with him, never breaking their kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock fell in the bed with John falling shortly after and placing himself between the detective´s long legs as he started to kiss him deeply. Sherlock grabbed the end of John´s shirt as he broke the kiss and pulled John´s shirt leaving him bare chested and pulling him in for another long kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two men were kissing nonstop, grinding against each other when John suddenly stopped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock looked confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why did you stop?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I…I just want to make sure you want to do this….Because, you know…you were never opened about your sexuality so I don´t know if…you know…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"John, you don´t need to worry that much…I am not that fragile."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know…I just want to be sure you want this as much as I do…I am just worried about you…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock puled John closer and whispered in his ear, his voice deeper than usual.´</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"John Hamish Watson you better start kissing me again and you better not stop this time."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was all John needed to hear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The doctor leaned in kissing Sherlock again moving down slowly kissing the detective´s cheek, along his jaw, neck and chest sucking on Sherlock´s nipples lightly and moving down again. The doctor looked up at Sherlock with doubt in his eyes. Sherlock nodded and smiled. John smirked and grabbed Sherlock´s pajama pants taking them off along with the detective´s boxers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John could not stop himself to stare. The man underneath him was so beautiful.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock pushed John up again kissing him and rolling them over in order for him to be on top of John, pinning him to the bed. Sherlock reached for John´s belt undoing it and pulling the doctor´s trousers and pants off. The detective kissed John´s lips one more time moving, then, downwards and taking John on his mouth, sucking, liking and kissing with his lips parted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John tried not to moan but it was impossible, feeling Sherlock´s lips around him felt amazing, the detective was backing up his head against the pillows, grabbing handfuls of the bed sheets, his hands closed tightly into fists. John was breathless, by instinct he reached for Sherlock´s dark and soft curls burying his hands in them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sherlock, stop…. I can´t take it that long…."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock kissed John´s stomach getting back to the detective´s lips and kissing them passionately unable to hide the grin on his face. He had just left John moaning and panting like he never thought he would be able to see but John was not going to leave things like that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John pulled Sherlock on to the bed again and turned him around so that the detective was laying with his belly downwards. The doctor kissed Sherlock´s neck, back and down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock left out a surprised gasp as he grabbed the pillows. That felt…wonderful. John kept moving his tongue and lips against Sherlock leaving the detective screaming and panting in minutes. John kissed Sherlock´s back again and reached for the bedside drawer taking out a small plastic bottle. The doctor turned Sherlock to face him as he poured the substance into both of them and then tossing the bottle aside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked Sherlock in the eyes and raised the detective´s long legs higher. John placed a small kiss in Sherlock´s lips and then lowered himself laying flatly against Sherlock every inch of their body´s connected.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John moved slowly at first but started to move faster as Sherlock´s got used to the feeling. In some time both of them were moving rhythmically against each other, breathless and moaning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John turned Sherlock around and pulled him up so that they were both on their knees. John kissed Sherlock´s neck and bit it lightly, Sherlock looked over his shoulder and kissed John as the doctor reached around Sherlock and started to move his hand pumping him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two men were breathing quickly, both were on the edge. Sherlock let out a loud moan as he fell against the bed with John on top of him as he also let out a loud moan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were both panting trying to control their breath. John moved to the side laying with his back against the bed and pushing Sherlock to lay with the head on his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John kissed Sherlock´s forehead and then his lips softly as he pulled the duvet to cover their body´s.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John hugged Sherlock tightly as he whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you, Sherlock"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sherlock smiled and got closer to John hugging him too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you too, John."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They smiled to each other, placed a small peck on each other´s lips and fell asleep quickly on each other´s harms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was nowhere else where they wanted to be.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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